Are you still feeling inspired by the new year? By this point in the year, I believe there are a lot of “resolutioners” starting to fall off the wagon. Of course, with lent happening now, perhaps that’s a time to get back on. I don’t participate in lent but I’m a huge resolutioner. I just love the feeling of a fresh start from new years. I am still carrying on my resolutions, slowly but surely. I joined a gym for the first time ever! I’m loving the classes they offer and the change I’m seeing in my body and more than anything in my spirit. I’ve got more energy and a better outlook on life because I just feel good. I’ve been a bit less social in the blog world lately though. Simply because, exciting things are happening!! I’ve put pen to paper more so far this year than in the past. I feel like I’m really starting to get serious about book writing. I may or may not finish it this year, but my original goal of having a book written by the time I’m 30 (3.5 more years) is looking very good. The most exciting happening as of late is that I’ve joined forces with my friends Jennifer and Kylie and started a book blog! I had thoughts of reviewing some books on here along with some of my ramblings, but I haven’t stayed consistent with it like I needed to. Jennifer and I have been discussing a joint blog venture for YEARS! It is finally becoming a reality. This is very exciting for us! If you’re interested in seeing our reviews and joining the fun (there’s going to be lots of giveaways!) follow us over at http://www.thatbooklife.com !!
*If you work really hard and are kind, amazing things will happen.” -Conan O’Brien
xo – Ashley
Here we are, January 5th. 5 days into our new year, new me plans, am I right?? I haven’t been super steadfast in this. I never am. I LOVE New Years though. I love the possibilities of starting fresh and having new accomplishments. I also love having a starting point and a finish line. However, I have a severe form of self-diagnosed ADD, however, and it’s hard for me to stay the course on just one resolution at a time. I want to read more, but I also want to write more, but OH! I need to organize my closet. Then I need to donate my clothes to goodwill. Oh, I better go through my kid’s toys. Now another day has gone by without writing a word! Another resolution of mine is to be more organized and plan ahead more. My favorite resolution, because it’s sort of an oxymoron, I want to be more spontaneous! Yes, I laugh at myself for that one. I want to be more organized and plan each day according to what I need to be doing to achieve my goals, but if something fun presents itself to me, I want to jump on it! I want to dive in head first and come back up with more experience and an overall sense of excitement! My life feels a bit boring from time to time, and I need something to shake me up! What are your resolutions?? How are you planning to accomplish them?
Some days it’s all I can do to make sure that my heart isn’t on my sleeve. Do you have those days? Where you just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the inevitable. Those nosy people who will quiz you, “What’s wrong??” Sometimes there isn’t just one thing wrong. Sometimes there truly is nothing wrong at all, my feelings are just getting in the way. On any given day I might be sad about something going on in my life, something going on in the life of someone close to me, or just something going on in the world in general. There’s a lot to be sad about. On the same token, there is a lot to be happy about. New life, people getting married to the “loves of their lives”, people being rescued from a seemingly helpless situation, etc. You see, the human race has so much to be concerned about. I don’t want to complain endlessly about things I wish would or wouldn’t happen. I don’t want to hash out my feelings to someone who probably doesn’t really care, who’s probably just being nosey. Sometimes, I just want to be. And I think that’s ok.
“I want to have friends that will let me be all alone, when being alone is all that I need.” – The Avett Brothers, Perfect Space
Happy November, everyone!
I’ve been less than regular here lately, and I again, have no excuse for it. I have however, been thinking a lot lately about thankfulness. That’s no surprise as we are in the month of the year that everyone seems to remember to be thankful, right? So there are many things that I think of often that I need to say thanks for. My husband for one, for always seeing the best in me and bringing out the worst (trust me, it’s a good thing ;)), my step-son for reminding me what life is all about. Let me stop here. My step-son is the #2 man in my life. He is a HUGE part of my world. But there are so many days that I take the love I have for him for granted, or the love he has for me, because I’m too busy being upset with “the situation”. “The situation” being with his mom, of course. Now let me start by saying that she is involved in his life and she loves him and we do all get along. But of course, there are so many times when I want to pull my hair out or her hair out for one thing or another and even just because I’m jealous of her for being able to have him or her other kids in the first place. I never realized just how hard being part of a blended family would be. It is though, it is the single hardest thing I have ever done and possibly ever will do. But it’s worth it. 100% worth it. Being a step-mom has taught me so much and I continue to learn everyday. I’m also thankful for my parents. They weren’t perfect, they were the parents who didn’t get along great when I was growing up, but they stayed together through the good and the bad, for better or worse, and showed me that love is worth fighting for. I’m grateful for my job, for my friends and extended family. I’m grateful to have married into a large family even if it makes me incredibly antsy at family gatherings. I’ve been going through a hard time lately, dealing with infertility and feeling like I’m losing my purpose and not living the life I intended. Do we ever really live the life we intended? Maybe to an extent. But there’s always unplanned things that get in the way. I never thought I would have trouble getting pregnant or that I would even marry into a blended family, but I have had trouble and I did pick that family, and on good days, I realize that I was given this life because I’m strong enough to handle it, and for that, I am undeniably thankful.
I am also overwhelmingly thankful for all of you who take the time to stop by my page for my posts that are sometimes few and far between and I hope that somehow, in my ramblings you are able to take something away from them once in a while. 🙂
Oh and Happy Veteran’s Day to the Veteran’s! It is because of you that I have the freedom to be thankful at all. 🙂 ❤
Inspiration hits when you least expect it. Sometimes, it happens when you’re happy. When you’re in the midst of the greatest day of your life and it seems like nothing could ever be better. Sometimes, it hits when you’re sad. When you’re feeling helpless and hopeless and like the light at the end of the tunnel has been shut off. It can hit when you’re all alone, nostalgic and melancholy. Or, it can hit in a crowd of people in the middle of complete chaos. Sometimes, inspiration doesn’t come at all. You’re left wondering how long it will be until you can write your next words, sing your next note, draw your next picture. Artists of all kinds struggle with these unpredictable thoughts, unpredictable behaviors. You just never know where it will hit, when it will hit. But when it does, the only thing you should do is run with it. You take that little bit of inspiration where it sprouts and with no holds barred, you make a masterpiece of it. Your own little masterpiece to share or withhold until you’re ready. Either way, it’s all yours.
Wow, I didn’t realize it had been an entire month since I’ve blogged. I’m not very good at this blogging stuff. But as I always say, maybe one day I will be ;). I’m a chronic self-doubter. Maybe I’ve said that before. I really only know a handful of people who aren’t. But there are times in my life (in most of our lives) where I feel oddly inspired. Perhaps it’s the recent turn of events where I found myself outrageously overwhelmed with my plate overflowing when I decided to take hold of my life and my dreams again. Then I go and sign up for all sorts of things, filling my plate back up. Oh well, YOLO right?? 😉 I signed up for my first Diet Bet today. Do you know what that is? I bet money that I would lose 4% of my body weight in 4 weeks. You can check it out here. I’m pretty excited about it. I also signed up for WordPress’s Writing 101 course here. I probably need to take the Blogging 101 pretty bad as well, but seeing as writing is my dream, I figure I should start there. 🙂 In addition to these exciting events, I’m undergoing tests for infertility to find out why I’ve been unable to conceive for the past 4 years of trying, so there’s that. I am hopeful, however, that each of these things will fall as they may. I am passionate about writing. I love fitness, (a lot of it is the idea of fitness, but I want to be healthy regardless :)), and my husband and I would desperately like to expand our family before I am thirty. The original goal was before he turned thirty, but that’s 5 months from now and slightly unlikely. 🙂 At any rate, I am, as I said, hopeful that each of these things will fall as they may and that I will continue to move forward in following my dreams.
Why did I start this blog?
I myself, am not quite sure of the answer to that question. I think I started it as a way to practice writing. Perhaps to reviews some books. Today I feel like just releasing some emotions. It is my blog after all.
I think a lot. My mind wanders from here to there and then, “SQUIRREL!”, back again. This trait could have the potential to make me a great writer, I think. That, of course, is my dream. But this trait also has the ability to squash my dreams by the amount of self doubt that harbors inside my brain, body, and soul. You see, I constantly think of ideas. “OOH that’s a great idea!” I usually write it down or run it by my friend Jennifer, and then I move on. Sometimes, I sit down to really elaborate on these ideas and I go completely blank. It’s so discouraging. I want to be able to put words to my thoughts and feelings. I have such great ideas and story lines in my head, why don’t the words come to me? I read on Colleen Hoover’s blog or Facebook page or something one time that one of the reasons she writes is because when she was younger, her older sister ALWAYS got the last word because she just couldn’t think of a come back as quick but she can write them down late and it’s awesome! I can definitely relate to that. My middle sister is very quick to the draw. She’s witty and wild and I always envied her ability to come back at me or anyone so readily. Currently, I am in the middle of some very trying times in my life. Not near as trying as many around me, but there are some difficult things happening. Writing is an excellent escape. Drama makes good fiction. But I. Can’t. Find. The. Words. Perhaps if I just keep writing away it will happen. SO yeah, that’s how I’m feeling now. & then some. But words, they aren’t there. It’s all fuzzied up in there. That’s a word, now. 🙂 Until next time.